Here are some pretty flat lays from Lululemon to inspire you for Mother’s Day. I’m getting my mom a Define Jacket since she loves Lululemon but never ever treats herself to it, and I’m getting her another magnolia tree for her garden. I actually don’t get ‘gifts’ for mothers day and don’t really like the pressure of mothers day gifts , I prefer to celebrate with a fancy brunch out, including mimosas. This makes it easy for me as far as expectations, and my kids can still do the fun crafty things at school that I also love receiving.

Don’t you guys find mothers day is so much pressure? I find the gift giving so easy, but the receiving, or not receiving when the kids are little is so… I don’t know. Then there is the competition on social media as to who gets spoiled on Mothers Day, and who doesn’t. And the other can of worms…people who don’t have mothers, or great mothers, or are single mothers who don’t have a significant other to help acknowledge the day, or who had amazing mothers and grandmothers but have lost them, or maybe you are pregnant with your first child – are you considered a mother? or perhaps you deeply desire being a mom and you are suffering infertility.  Maybe it’s a competition between getting to celebrate your mom, and yourself as a mom, but then your husband also wants to celebrate with his mom, and your siblings want to celebrate with their in laws but also their mom. I kind of hate the imposition that ‘Mother’s Day’ brings. I’m also thinking of two moms in my neighbourhood who lost her daughters last week and I’m feeling very sad for them, the girls where cousins. It’s such a tough day for a whole lot of reasons, and I feel the anxiety about the day creeping up even though I have everything to be grateful for – I just feel the heavy ness of what that day means for so many people. So to that I say ‘treat yo self’. Do something that makes YOU happy on mother’s day and ignore all that other noise. You establish what you want for mothers day as far as spending time. BE gentle with yourself!

How do you feel about Mother’s Day, deep down inside, since you can answer this question completely anonymously. I’m really curious to know if there are others like me who have seemingly no reason to but feel a bit ambivalent about mothers day. I should ad a disclaimer that my husband is great, and if he knew I wanted to be utterly spoiled on Mothers Day he would….I’d just rather go for brunch and not worry about spelling it out, or outlining how I want to be honoured on Mothers Day.

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29 Comments

  1. Di
    May 10, 2017 / 9:27 pm

    Mothers Day, like every other holiday, has come to heavily rely on consumerism and buying the ‘perfect’ gift. It’s easy to forget that it’s not a competition and holidays should be more celebrating and relaxing with friends and family. Definitely agree with your comment about social media being an ever growing factor and influence on these gift giving situations and yes – we should all try to focus on what truly makes us happy instead of consulting the opinions of others!

  2. Di
    May 10, 2017 / 9:28 pm

    Mothers Day, like every other holiday, has come to heavily rely on consumerism and buying the ‘perfect’ gift. It’s easy to forget that it’s not a competition and holidays should be more celebrating and relaxing with friends and family. Definitely agree with your comment about social media being an ever growing factor and influence on these gift giving situations and yes – we should all try to focus on what truly makes us happy instead of consulting the opinions of others!

  3. ZDG8
    May 10, 2017 / 10:02 pm

    I am not a mother but would love to be one. I have always wanted to be a mother. But life circumstances have put me on this road. I am at the age where conceiving will be difficult (and I have other heath issues). Adoption would be great to but that is a journey I am not ready for at this moment. Many of my friends have multiple children and some are conceiving later in life. I have so much joy for them and love for their children. Often times, people (mostly strangers) wish me happy mother’s day as a courtesy without realizing my life circumstances. I acknowledge their courtesy but it’s hard for me not to feel a little twinge in my heart.

    I do feel mother’s day brings an added pressure to those who do not have “conventional” situations. Over the years, my mother has requested simpler and simpler mother’s day acknowledgments. I still get her gifts and flowers because she never treats herself. I love my mother everyday but mother’s day allows me to take a moment and really think about all her sacrifices, her unconditional love and true selflessness. So, for that reason, I love mother’s day (and father’s day). Unfortunately, now father’s day becomes difficult because I lost my father 11 years ago.

    For all the mothers out there, happy mother’s day! I hope you celebrate it the way you want with your loved ones near.

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:30 am

      Thank you for sharing <3

  4. Anonymous
    May 10, 2017 / 10:54 pm

    I have two beautiful daughters (16 and 14) and I love being a mom. My husband and girls always find a way to celebrate me in a great way. For me gifts are not important.
    For me this day has become a sad one because my mom had a stroke on Dec. 2015 and she is in a vegetative state. It’s been hard to all of us and I miss her terribly even though she’s “still here”. I try to be in good spirits for my girls but it’s hard 🙁 so yes I feel ambivalent too about this day.

    • Anonymous
      May 10, 2017 / 11:09 pm

      Forgot to add, loved this post! Thank you Lulumum!

      • lulumum
        Author
        May 11, 2017 / 3:32 am

        I’m sorry for your grief about your mother.

        • Anonymous
          May 11, 2017 / 10:58 am

          Thank you 🙂

  5. CatWomen
    May 10, 2017 / 11:01 pm

    Love this insight – thank you for putting this day into perspective.

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:32 am

      Thanks for reading <3

  6. JFW
    May 11, 2017 / 1:09 am

    My step kids have not spoken to their Mother for about 10 years now. One is near 40 & the other is 42 with small children who have never met their biological grandmother. My stepdaughter lives out of state. Her kids call me Grandma. As for my stepson, he calls me Mom & usually takes me and his dad out to eat. They are truly wonderful grown kids well into their careers, happy & successful. I’m the one stressed out over why their Mother does not want anything to do with them. Makes me sad, because I miss my deceased parents so much!!!!

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:34 am

      I understand this circumstance. I have a very close family member who also had this situation with her mother and I can’t comprehend that lack of attachment. They are very lucky to have you!

  7. Anita
    May 11, 2017 / 1:09 am

    My mom died with Alzheimer’s four years ago and I miss her dearly. I have no family so Mother’s Day is a sad day for me. I celebrated every day with my mom for the loving caring person she was even with that terrible disease. What bothered me so much and still bothers me are the families of mothers who only showed up at the nursing homes and make a big deal of Mother’s Day yet avoid their mom with Alzheimer’s all the time except for Mother’s Day and Christmas. Having a mother is to be celebrated every day if you can, just saying you love them or holding their hand to let them know someone cares. It is not about gifts, it’s about your presence.

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:35 am

      That must have been so hard to witness on top of also witnessing your mothers disease. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  8. Maria
    May 11, 2017 / 3:06 am

    Sadly I am a mother who 8 years ago lost her only daughter at age 31 to Epilepsy. Monthers’ day is particularly tough. Most of the year you try to act normal to not think constantly about your loss. On Mothers’ Day it is in your face. All the hoopla, all the Hallmark hype, the gifts and flowers and family gatherings. Thank you Lulumum for reaching out to your readers and letting us share our perspective.

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:29 am

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot fathom anything in life more painful. I’m touched for all of you that have shared your experiences. I always read comments but I’m especially wanting to know your thoughts and feelings about this day and I’m honoured you guys are willing to share here in such an open way.

      I’ve been feeling this for a number of years but I had to write it because more and more it’s become this thing in the blogger world to create these beautiful images of motherhood for mothers day and to portray this lovely fantasy, it’s part of the typical content schedule. I just think thats painful for a lot of people. Me on a more superficial, wistful level, and others on a very deep level. I love being a mother, it’s my entire world. Nothing worth anything in life comes without an equal measure of pain and sadness and I think this day needs to acknowledge every experience of motherhood, not just the pretty stuff.

      Big hug to all of you!! I’m thinking of you and honouring you guys this mothers day!

      • Maria
        May 11, 2017 / 3:35 am

        Your warm comments mean more than you know. Hugs to you also.

  9. Anon
    May 11, 2017 / 5:45 am

    Mothers’ Day is a bit of a Hallmark holiday, isn’t it? You should celebrate however you’re comfortable celebrating. Seems to me that the real issue is social media & people trying to outdo each other for the photo ops, etc. I refuse to get involved. Other than reading a few blogs (like this one), I stay away from social media. No Facebook, etc.

  10. CT
    May 11, 2017 / 12:33 pm

    Thanks LLM for sharing your perspective of what Mother’s Day means to you and how it can mean different things to different women. I think in general, most Holidays are like this, depending on one’s circumstances. For me, Mother’s Day is not about receiving gifts but knowing I will be spending time with my wonderful daughter. It is also a sad day for me because I lost my Mom due to Alzheimers complications in 2014. We were very close and watching her succumb to this terrible disease was heartbreaking and so I know exactly what Anita is talking about and definitely can relate. I think a lot of holidays and days of celebration and recognition puts too much focus on gift giving which I am rejecting more and more the older I get. My daughter and I started a Christmas tradition a few years ago where we buy less for each other and donate gifts and money to charities. Making it more about others who are in need makes it a more enjoyable holiday for us and it also alleviates the pressure and craziness gift buying for others can have on oneself in an already hectic holiday environment.

    • danika
      May 11, 2017 / 4:51 pm

      love how you and your daughter decided to donate, that is such a great idea! thank you for sharing

  11. Anonymous
    May 11, 2017 / 2:13 pm

    New step-mom here to a wonderful 5 year old. I do not have any kids of my own and we don’t plan to have kids. This will be my first mother’s day as a step-mom and I had no idea it would be this hard. We share custody with her mom and it is a rough situation. I don’t really think of myself as a mom as all. I have become a parent in so many ways but I am not her mom. Thank you for acknowledging that this is a high pressure holiday for many reasons. I am truly not anyone’s mom so its not a day about me but there is this aching feeling in my heart of not being quite enough. My heart goes out to anyone feeling sad about this holiday for any reason.

  12. May 11, 2017 / 3:37 pm

    Happy Mother’s Day to all! Here’s what my husband and I do. I give him a gift on Mother’s Day. He’s the one that does most of the cooking and cleaning around the house and generally takes care of me, so I think he deserves it. I’m not a mother so, it’s more of a inside joke between us. Have fun with the holiday!

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 11, 2017 / 3:41 pm

      That’s adorable – I love it!

  13. anonymous
    May 11, 2017 / 5:18 pm

    I have a couple perspectives on Mother’s Day. I have three kids (9,12,15). They usually get me small gifts but honestly my favorite Mother’s Day “gift” is going out to brunch with cocktails (because when else is it sanctioned for moms to drink so early in the day without raised eyebrows???) with my family or having a meal prepared at home by my husband and kids and just hanging out with them without worrying about laundry and other chores. Though come Monday I usually regret that I didn’t throw in at least one load of laundry!
    From a sadder angle, my mother has Alzheimers and I miss being able to call her up and just talk to her about something as simple as the weather, much less a Mother’s Day phone call. She still remembers me when she sees me (though she lives in a Memory Care Unit in OR and I live in VA so those visits are only a couple times a year) but she also confuses my sister and Aunt with me (who both live close by and visit her often) so I know the day is coming soon when she doesn’t recognize any of us anymore. I used to call her almost everyday and even though she’s had Alzheimers for years I still have those days I just want to pick up the phone and talk to her about the mundane stuff we always talked about when she was well. I still sent her a Mother’s Day gift with something I know my “old” mom would’ve liked and I won’t take offense when she doesn’t remember who gave it to her.
    Love and hugs to all the women on here sharing their special stories and perspectives.

  14. anonymous
    May 11, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    I find it stressful as well. This year in particular. It’s “what do you want to do?” but this year hubby works on Mother’s Day and both adult kids have commitments till 1:30 so “my day” can’t start till 2:00 – when it’s pretty much over. What I really want to do is while they are all working, I’ll go to church, go get a pedi w/mimosa and take myself out to breakfast without them all. Lol! Honestly, I don’t want gifts or cards on Mother’s Day. What i’d really, really like is for my kids to quit leaving their crap all over the house. I’d like to use my own laundry baskets without hunting them down first, use my kitchen table without having to spend 20 minutes clearing off college papers, textbooks, laptops, 5 coffee mugs and water glasses, clean a toilet because they have 5 minutes or cleanser the tub because you are going to take a shower and thought it would help me out. You know, just every once in awhile throughout the whole year.

    As for our mom’s, this year we have just one since we lost one a few months ago. My mom and I aren’t particularly close (I should say not at all) but we’ve never done gifts even starting way back. We pop over with a bouquet of flowers on Saturday and spend awhile visiting and that’s it. My brother takes her out to breakfast after church on Sunday and my sister doesn’t live in town so she sends a card and calls.

  15. Kara
    May 11, 2017 / 8:58 pm

    I guess I’m the only one here who likes gifts on MD and a card! Lol Honestly not seeing anything wrong with it. Life is too short. My perfect MD will be to wake up , have my “breakfast in bed” variation which is protein shake by my hubby. Go to the gym then to the family brunch. No mimosas for me( I don’t drink alcohol). Just have great food and great time, I don’t have custody of my daughter unfortunately so have to cherish every moment we spend together.

  16. Birdie
    May 13, 2017 / 2:09 am

    When I was in my 30’s & 40’s, I did not think Mother’s Day was important but it is! My daughters are now in their 20’s — it was I that told both about Lululemon! 🙂 Being a hands-on mother is not an easy job especially through the teenage years. Just a simple “Happy Mother’s Day” and a hug will do! But, the important thing is to be acknowledge for it — THE TOUGHEST JOB IN THE WHOLE WORLD! Happy Mother’s Day, Lulumum and to all of you who have children 🙂

  17. May 14, 2017 / 12:49 am

    I’m having a weird feeling about it this year. I actually just came out a few weeks ago as a lesbian (I’m 22) and my mother is still angry about it and generally not accepting of myself and my girlfriend’s new relationship. Feeling sad about it because I wish she could just be happy for me, regardless of the gender of the person i’m dating – and also feeling pressure to give her somewhat of a nice mother’s day when she’s still upset at the news. Oh well, like you said- I think we should all be gentle with ourselves.

    Great post. These uncomfortable feelings should definitely be discussed more.

    • lulumum
      Author
      May 14, 2017 / 5:14 am

      I’m sorry you are going through this. I hope she comes around and is just having a minute to process. I hope next year this time she’s not only accepted it but embraced you and every aspect of you. I wish I had more reassuring words for you. Live your life, and build your dream. She should be happy to see you doing just that.

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